Volume 18 - Fall 2016

Open cover before striking.

 My children. My dear subjects of fine instrumentals, take this volume. Put it in your phone, PC, Mac, or your iTard © and shut your eyes. May they serve you well.
No. Instead, stare at the cover of the lovely dancer. Then, close your eyes and dream of her burning.

This is the next set in our matchbook series. Technically, we've skipped a volume that can be found here. That one doesn't have a matchbook cover. It does have one giant babe, so that counts for something. While V.17 contained many tunes culled in 2012 (the supposed end), our new set here, from last Fall (2016), does have two instros that take old King Bloodstone further back in time. One as far back as the early days of the Internet. A time of hope, digital unity, and paid pornography.

[Note that I missed posting in June '17. Since then, Craig Baxter's site (the source of the matchbook covers) has gone down. I'll let you folks know of any changes.]

There be trouble ahead, D.C.

We'll start off with the lead track by Roy Montrell. If his version of a Mellow Saxophone is this madness, then I'd like to spend my last chaotic days on earth with him and his mates. We'll rip and rock it like Davy Crockett, king of the dying frontier.

But wait, this King has got to have at least one version of the Batman theme on these songs to light the bat signal by, or it's as if the (early to mid) ‘60s never existed. What band better to bring it on than the Bat Boys? Whomever the hell they were. Long dead by now, I can tell you that. Cheating Charlie, also by the Bat Boys, must be the theme to the Caped Crusader’s bastard nephew or former best friend. He’d be the kind of foe that was a rich billionaire and ran for presidency to control the world--based on lies, duplicity, and super-powered radiation doses of narcissism. [Addendum: RIP Mr. West]

Cheating Charlie cuts a concrete rug

 As if we are onto some narrative drama, we follow the Bat Boys with ESP, by The Weirdos. Let's pretend The Dark Knight takes his psychic bat-pills and is able to read the mind of his nemesis in order to save the day. Unfortunately all that Cheating Charlie was thinking was what his name would look like in tomorrow's papers.

Next in our story, you will find yourself among the sands of the Middle East. The Shah is ready to see you now. His Harem Bells are ringing. A good time to bone up on your Mideast foreign policy briefings. In other words read past page 1, or else the harem bells will ring for thee.

Our favorite instrumental guitarist, Johnny Fortune, gives us his version of It Ain't necessarily So. Mr. F. is the moderately known (and personal favorite) interpreter of Siboney. This of course is one of the most sublime and transcendent instrumentals of them all. Buddha bless you, Johnny.

Act 2. Boy loses girl. Man loses woman. Man loses man. Woman loses woman. Humanity loses everything. Lover's Lament by Ralph Ventsha & the Red Julian quartet is a fitting musical device to get the waterworks flowing. Cue: Revolt in the Fifth Dimension by Ray Ellis. My Spidey sense is tingling. That dame, or whomever, is not coming back.

Oh, how my head & heart aches, Mary Jane.

Your damsel is not in distress, she's an indentured servant. Time for her rescue, Mr. DeMille. Slave Girl, by Santo and Johnny is one of those early Internet songs I mentioned (the Spiderman cartoon song being the other). I can't quite recall when I found this nugget. It's been years, but the World Wide Web doth certainly giveth. It doth taketh away--our time, eyesight, our wasted lives browsing her endless screens.

No side-band-name of the month contest winner this month. Mel Taylor and the Magics is all you get this time round. Life is illusory.

Light ‘em up here.